I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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