there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize