what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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