guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize