But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The best revenge is premature balding
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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