Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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