I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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