quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize