so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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