Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize