forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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