i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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