Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
FUCK WHALES
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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