last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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