lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize