I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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