just come out here and I will go home with you...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize