well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
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I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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