forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Buhtt sex?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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