and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Found the puke drawer
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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