im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
sarcasm needs its own font
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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