Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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