Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need to align my fucking chakras
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