dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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