When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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