i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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