He kissed a someone with a penis
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize