KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
