My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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