I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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