Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize