I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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