I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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