Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
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My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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