An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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