Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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