First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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