I am spending my child support on dildos
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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