Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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