I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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