I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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