I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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