I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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