Betty ford says i'm here all night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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