I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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