What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize