Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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