What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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