Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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