i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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